Years ago at a youth ministry training event, I heard a psychologist named Dana give a talk titled “Right Roles & Relationships”. One of the things he really wanted to impress upon young youth ministry leaders was the idea that the teens they were working with were not “theirs”. They belonged rightly to their parents. That of course makes total sense and one might wonder what the issue was that he felt the need to address. It is basically this… Youth ministers often refer to the members of the youth group they lead as “my kids” or “my students”. It is easy to understand the common expression because it merely reflects the reality that the members of the youth group are students that have been put in his or her charge. They have been entrusted to that youth minister for the spiritual care and nurture that takes place in that season of life. What Dana was driving at though is the tendency of youth ministry folks to usurp the role of parents or not respect the importance of whose kids they are working with.
My friend the Rev. Dr. Rob Rienow writes in his excellent little book “Reclaiming the Sufficiency of Scripture” about an aspect of God’s word that is often overlooked. He refers to it as the question of Jurisdiction. It answers the questions of responsibility. Rob explains it this way. “Particular aspects of God’s will are assigned to specific jurisdictions. God gives particular instructions to pastors, government leaders, children, parents, etc. So God not only reveals what He wants done, how it is to be done, but also who should do it.”
During an event honoring the teacher of the year at the White House, President Biden said, “Rebecca put a teacher’s creed into words when she said, ‘There is no such thing as someone else’s child.’ No such thing as someone else’s child. Our nation’s children are all our children.” The Whitehouse press secretary during an interview with Jezebel magazine at the 2023 GLAAD awards commented “These are our kids. They belong to all of us.” While she was referring specifically to trans-kids, the sentiment remains the same. There is a trend in our society that we need to take note of.
It was perhaps a decade ago when a prominent politician was often quoting an old African proverb that says “it takes a village to raise a child”. The implication in quoting that proverb in a western context is to suggest our society needs to collectively raise our kids, not families. For some it suggests that the government, the education system, social services, etc know what is best for raising the children in our society. What they fail to communicate from that proverb is the context of the African village. A great many in a village would be related to each other. Parents raised their kids with the help of grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins who all live in the same village. A more accurate rendering of the African proverb might be that it takes the whole (primary & extended) family to raise a child.
There is an undeniable movement in our culture to move child rearing out of the family and into the system. However, according to scripture, the children in society are not collectively ours to raise. School teachers, doctors, social services professionals, and government leaders are generally not experts on raising children. The bible tasks the family to raise children. It is parents primarily and the extended family as well that need to raise kids. The church is a spiritual extension of the family that can be of further help as well. The Bible is clear about the role of parents and the importance of children being raised by their family. We need to be aware when the culture seeks to undermine what scripture clearly teaches.
Leave a Reply