(More reflections from Andy on this book…)
Having established that God has given parents the role as the main discipler’s of their children, the authors now ask the very important question “what if the parents don’t see themselves with this role?”
Parents may feel inadequate because they themselves have never been discipled before; they don’t know the Bible; they think their kids won’t listen to them; that’s why we pay a youth minister; I am too busy. These are some of the responses the authors have received from parents. They respond by saying “Even if parents are abdicating their role, we should never be content to take it.”
In chp 5 the authors suggest five areas that support why churches MUST be intentional about restoring parents to their rightful place as PRIMARY disciplers.
1. Biblical mandate: Apart from the various passages you can use the authors spend some time talking about the role of genealogies in scripture. For them, the lists of names is significant. It represents generational discipling – from our children, to their children, to their children. Discipling does not just create disciples, but it creates disciples who then disciple.
2. State of today’s families: family is fragmenting, even amongst Christians. There is no difference between non-christian and Christian divorce rates. 15% of protestant senior pastors are divorced. Dads are working too many hours.
3. Limited Influence: students move quickly through our ministries. Our influence is limited to only a few years – we are preparing them for another to take on the discipling
4. Time with teens: students on average have 112 waking hours in the week. The average student spends 2 hours a week at church. “it is totally unrealistic for parents to assume that one hour of Sunday school, plus other church activities, can successfully compete with a 30-hour per week experience in a secular school. The three biggest mistakes a youth minister can make is (1) assume parents don’t want to disciple their children (2) believe parents don’t have as much influence on their teens as you do!! (3) enamore students to yourself and not champion the influencers who would walk throughout life with students.
“For parents who seem indifferent, we must humbly but confidently present the truth found in God’s word and urge them to be biblically obedient and do so in love.”
5. Adult volunteers. Too often we place the spiritual maturity of our young people in the hands of volunteers who are often in their 20”s and who themselves are immature. Recruit more mature (spiritually and physically) people.
Having examined the problem the authors then suggest solutions. RTI – Resource, Train and Involve.
RESOURCE: Equip your families with devotions, studies – whatever they need to help them.
TRAIN: The authors say “go from a parent-meeting approach to a parent – equipping approach. Meet monthly for training in parenting, discipleship, family, marriage etc.
INVOLVE: Not by baking cookies. Getting parents to do family worship times, family mission trips, journaling to their children, praying for and with their spouses and children.
The chapter ends with these words: “It’ ll take more than just a youth group meeting to see students’ experiences of God enriched. We must bring parents back into the circumstances and situations of their children and re-introduce parents into the spiritual formation equation. Parents are too valuable to leave out.”
Exactly!
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