I broke one of my cardinal rules yesterday. Namely, that of not reading feedback immediately afterward an event. I am prone to take things personally when they are really fresh on my mind and vulnerable when I have not had enough sleep. However, I broke the rule in order to get something into the next Jubi, which the editor was holding space for.
It is always interesting to read comment cards on a number of levels. One is just to see if people got it. I find when lives are really touched, kids articulate more. When they just had a good time, they express enthusiasm without substance to back it up. Another level is of course to see if we missed it, meaning that we did not do something right. Kids are great at expressing frustrations and desires left unfulfilled. Now, in reading these about a diocesan event with 20+ different groups there, I get a sense about yet another level. This one is how youth groups (and their leaders) are doing. Of course the cards are anonymous, so I generally don’t know who wrote them. What I do see is patterns of good youth group time for some and not so good time for others. Now to figure out how to help those who need it when we don’t know who they are.
Overall, the comments were exceptional this year. Kids got it! The cards were loaded with examples of what they learned and how they were impacted. We did not miss much. The dance was the biggest thing missed this year. Hardly any complaints from kids on food, a few titles of seminars were not precise enough, and we probably ought to ban flash photography during worship. (that one is my fault, not Jane’s)
Now here are three somewhat amusing but real observations about teenagers in general from the cards…
1. Students need to learn how to entertain themselves and initiate interaction during free time! We have created this monster by over programming their lives. Not just us in youth ministry of course, but youth culture overall is very programmed and nearly all forms of recreation are created for them. I view this as a great tragedy! To counteract this, years ago I started having a bunch of unprogrammed time on retreats where we did not organize activities. At first, kids did not know what to do with that. We helped them most by not helping them in those situations but encouraged them to make the most of their time. In the end, athletic kids organized games, others played cards, others just hung out and talked for hours on end. This helped our youth group retreats far more than if we had programmed lots of activities.
2. Students need to understand the difference between a lie and poor communication. We had a number of comments that students felt lied to because the title of a seminar did not match the content. Frankly, I was at first annoyed in reading that and then sad for the students who think that way. It reminded me of conversations I’ve had on politics with people who assert that some leader had lied to the public about an issue when the reality was that everyone had the facts wrong. I fear what will happen as more scientists speak out about the global warming issue, because the facts are not all out there yet. My point though is that students need to learn the difference between a lie and unintentional misinformation. They need to understand that to assert that someone is telling a lie is an attack on their character. It assumes an intention to deceive. When seminar leaders submit a title in advance, they very well may change the content before they speak or even as they are speaking for a variety of legitimate reasons. If your group (or any students in it) felt lied to by the titles of seminars, I hope and pray you will help them understand that we cannot assume an intention to deceive in the context of a Christian gathering. Perhaps these comments reveal something deeper about the level of mistrust students are growing up with. Even so, we must help them understand what a lie really is.
3. Students need to learn to spell! I won’t rant on this one. Blame texting and AIM I guess, but it makes for amusing reading.
God really blessed us all at re:generate this year! It was exciting for me personally to share with my own kids that one of their classmates turned to Christ on Saturday night! I went to sleep on Sunday night rejoicing for how many students we deeply impacted by the weekend. Praise God!
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